6 things I learned from fatherhood that make me a better leader
When I became a father the first time in 2019 and then the second time in 2023 it (obviously) changed my life dramatically. On the one hand it got much more serious as there are now small humans depending on me. On the other hand, I am able to enjoy a lot of lovely moments and experiences with my children. Since then my children taught me a lot of valuable things, five of them, which impact my work life as a leader, I want to share with you today:
1. Punishment is Senseless — Patience is Key
I vividly remember moments when my daughter simply refused to cooperate, whether it was bedtime or getting ready for daycare. My initial instinct was frustration, but I quickly realized that punishment wasn’t the solution. It is hard for humans and especially for children, to connect delayed consequences (i.e. tired in the morning, hurried daycare) to current actions. Acting with pressure only created resistance and didn’t address the root cause. Instead, patience and understanding worked wonders.
As a leader, I’ve carried this lesson into my work. When team members struggle, it’s rarely because they don’t care — it’s usually because something deeper is at play, like a lack of clarity, confidence, or support. Leading with patience and curiosity has been far more effective than resorting to punitive measures.
2. You Cannot Force Learning
When my kids started exploring the world, it became clear they would learn things in their own time and in their own way. No matter how often I tried to “teach” my toddler something, it only stuck when she was ready and curious about it. Forcing it was futile.
In the workplace, the same principle applies. You can’t force people to grow or adopt new skills overnight. Instead, it’s about creating an environment where learning is safe, encouraged, and aligned with their intrinsic motivation. Letting people take ownership of their development is far more powerful than micromanaging their progress.
3. You Get What You Give
Parenting is a mirror — when I’m calm, engaged, and empathetic, my kids respond in kind. When I’m rushed or distracted, their behavior reflects that energy back at me tenfold.
This principle holds true in leadership as well. The energy and attitude you bring to your team directly influence their morale and productivity. If you show trust, respect, and enthusiasm, your team will mirror those values. The environment you cultivate determines the culture you get.
4. There is No “Right” — Embrace Unexpected Perspectives
One of the most surprising and humbling lessons I’ve learned from my kids is how often they arrive at conclusions that are completely valid, even though I would have never thought of them. Their unfiltered logic and fresh perspective constantly challenge my assumptions. For example, my daughter once asked why the sky doesn’t have a lid if it’s a “room.” It was such a simple, innocent question, but it made me pause and think about how we adults frame things versus how children interpret the world.
This lesson has been invaluable in leadership. Sometimes team members come up with ideas or solutions that I would have never considered. Rather than defaulting to “this isn’t how we do things,” I’ve learned to listen, stay open, and let those ideas challenge my perspective. Often, the “right” answer is simply one I hadn’t seen before, and those moments of discovery are where real innovation happens.
5. Allow Them to Fall
As much as I’d love to shield my kids from every stumble and scraped knee, I know those moments are essential for their growth. Watching them fall is hard, but it’s necessary for them to build resilience and confidence in their abilities.
The same goes for teams. As a leader, it’s tempting to step in and fix things before they go wrong. But if we don’t let our teams face challenges and learn from their failures, we rob them of the opportunity to grow. It’s through falling and getting back up that we develop true strength and capability.
6. The Power of “Why?”
Finally, if there’s one question my children have mastered, it’s “Why?” While it can be exhausting answering it for the hundredth time, I’ve come to appreciate how this relentless curiosity pushes me to think deeper and clarify my own understanding.
In leadership, fostering a culture of “Why?” — encouraging your team to question assumptions and seek meaning — leads to better decisions and stronger alignment. It reminds us to stay curious, challenge the status quo, and ensure our actions align with our purpose.
Parenthood has been my greatest teacher, and its lessons have transformed the way I lead. By embracing patience, fostering growth, mirroring positivity, staying adaptable, and encouraging curiosity, I’ve found a leadership style that feels both authentic and effective. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being present, intentional, and willing to grow alongside those we guide.
